Monster Inside

The monster inside her weakens her
Takes away the happiness of life,
And her genuine smile,
Replacing it with a fictitious, fake mask,
Worn only in front of family and friends.

It wears her down, from the inside out,
A demon inside taking control of her body,
Banishing her out,
Making her feel as if she is a spectator in her own body…

She is devoid of all content emotions:
Happiness, joy, excitement.
Yet the ruthless emotions stay,
As if feeding the creature within each passing day:
Heartbreak, pain, anger, fear…

Walking in a vast expanse of darkness,
All she can do is search,
Day and night,
For that small light full of hope,
Full of meaning,
That will lead her to her old self,
The person she used to be.

Once,
I was able to imagine,
To live in my own little world of imagination.
I could actually smile
Without putting on an act for others.
I felt as if there was a meaning to life,
But now there's nothing important enough in my life to live for.

But, most importantly,
I had my own opinions,
My own personality back then,
In what seems like the old me that I used to be.

Now,
I don't know where that girl is…
I don't even know who I am anymore…